Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
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