but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boobs speak an international language.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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