I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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