And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
