no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
