how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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