I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
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