you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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