I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
