It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
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Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
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