He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
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