do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize