She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
don't judge my taste in strippers
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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