if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
