i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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