your parents love me but you hate me
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
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