um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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