You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
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