is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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