The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
