hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
