She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
