Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
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