how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize