11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
