We named our party play list daddy issues
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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