He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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