Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
