Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
