Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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