That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
