I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
