im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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