Just cropdusted the office
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
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