I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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