Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
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