Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
