But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
