im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I need to calm my uterus...
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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