i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
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I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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