Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
