I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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