I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
