Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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