you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
