You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
