My liver just broke up with me...
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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