im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Randomize
