wake up i wanna do it froggy style
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
