So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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