allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
