i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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