lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
