I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize