just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
