I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize